It has been roughly 9 months since my wife, Chris passed away. I think about my wife every day, no matter what I am doing, but this past weekend was a very difficult one. I woke up Monday morning and as I sat up in bed, it dawned on me that the reason Chris perked up and the Dr finally called me after 15 days for the first time was because we were finally able to see each other and hold each other’s hand.  She told me how she almost gave up twice but was going to fight and beat this.

I was telling my son Sean about what I realized that morning and I asked him more about the first 10 days he was with his mom when I was at home sick with Covid. He said she was worried about the care I was receiving back at home.  She also talked about everything she was going to do after she got out including volunteering, spending more time with Andrew, Anyssa and Travis.

I also realize now, that the doctors never told Chris how bad her lungs were getting and even though she perked up for a few days, it was only our love for each other that gave her the energy. How else would she perk up and then crash so fast? Chris had no idea they never gave her Regeneron. She had no idea they didn’t give her Ivermectin. She thought they were doing everything they could. I often wonder why I didn’t sneak in Hydroxy Chloroquine or Ivermectin to her and then I have to remember, I also thought at the time they were doing everything they could to save her. My heart breaks even more as I realize not only was my son, Sean and I kept in the dark, but that even she had no idea what they were and were not doing for her.

This has been a 9-month journey I hope none of you reading this ever have to take. Please be prepared ahead of time. Ask the right questions and demand the treatment you want your loved one to have. Chris and I didn’t know Chandler Regional Hospital’s protocol is: if you go on oxygen, you don’t get Regeneron. Chris and I didn’t know that Chandler Regional Hospital didn’t believe in Ivermectin until I asked Dr Shikri 18 days after checking my beautiful wife in for what should have been a little help getting over Covid. Dr Shikri had just finished intubating my wife and as we walked her from the ER up to the ICU, I asked him why didn’t Chris get Ivermectin? Without even looking back at me, he said, “we don’t believe in it!” Well that’s fine if you don’t, but you didn’t disclose that to me. It’s not posted anywhere when checking into the ER, no one tells you what you will and will not receive for treatment, if I had known just these two facts when checking Chris in, I could have said, no, I’m going somewhere else for help. Chandler Regional Hospital committed fraud to get my wife into their hospital and took away my option of choosing what health care she received. So again, do your homework, be prepared and don’t be a victim like we were. My wife paid the ultimate price and I am suffering every day without my beautiful wife, the Love of my life, not being here with me.

Sincerely, James Holland